I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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