I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
