I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
