The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
