ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
