I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I party with great urgency now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
