Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
