I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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