More tranny stories later!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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