Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
