So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I accidentally burped into my bong.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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