The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize