how can u be prego again
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
