If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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