I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
