Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I did not marry a roomba.
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