Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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