where does the pee come out of this thing
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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