he wants to bone in the snuggie
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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