I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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