The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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