love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
