She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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