i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
