eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sober January is a disaster.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
