every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
