I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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