don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
