woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Is her dick bigger than yours?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
