We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
