sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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