i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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