On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
