White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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