I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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