My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I want you more than these girls want KFC
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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