I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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