Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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