the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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