like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
