I want to walk on stilts...naked
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
