Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
