Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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