At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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