I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
