Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
