quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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