I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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