you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
