Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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