as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
third nipple confirmed
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
