smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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