apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
