You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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