Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
