he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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