i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize