NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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