Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
