did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
as a side note pls kill me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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