no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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