Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
