Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
