Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
