Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
