we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
